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Having Tough Conversations About Estate Planning… Without Ruining the Holidays

Having Tough Conversations About Estate Planning… Without Ruining the Holidays

woman and man with grey hair smile and look at each other doing yoga

Estate planning conversations are usually tough and probably not top-of-mind as families gather for the holidays. Discussing death and finances are often two of the most uncomfortable topics for families to talk about. Not talking about them, however, can lead to severe—and sometimes devastating—consequences.

While it might be difficult to broach the subject, the holiday season actually provides a great opportunity to talk to your family. Everyone is gathered in once place, opening the door to have important, distraction-free, in-person conversations. Many families take this time to share stories from the past, and celebrate what is to come, but these gatherings also provide the perfect canvas for heartfelt, emotional discussions.

Regardless of age, many adults delay the estate planning process, as it can be uncomfortable to contemplate one’s own mortality. Due to the delicate nature of the topic, conversations should also be approached delicately, and with the utmost respect for privacy and comfort zones. There are many ways to segue into estate planning conversations during the holidays. Here are a few ideas to point you in the right direction.

  • Start by having smaller conversations with other family members about their estate plans before going straight to mom and dad. This will allow you to test out the topic and determine how to best bring it up in a bigger group discussion.
  • Wait for a good time to bring up your own experience with estate planning, or—better yet—ask the group for advice. This will open the door for a collective discussion about what documents your family has already put in place, and what still needs to be done. Do some research ahead of time, so you know what estate planning tools your parents should have in place. This will help direct the conversation, if you find that your parents do not have a comprehensive plan in place.

The goal of these discussions is not to pry or try to obtain information about your inheritance. It is to ensure that your parents have their estate plans in order, so that you and your loved ones aren’t left to contend with a probate nightmare after they pass. If you discover that they are ahead of the game, make them promise that they will revisit it every once in a while to make sure it stays up to date with their situation and currents wishes.

If nothing has been done, suggest helping them research an estate planning attorney to start the process. Having a plan in place will provide peace of mind that your parents are protected, and that your future won’t include a time-consuming, costly, and emotional probate battle. This is one of the best gifts your parents could give you this holiday season.

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Estate Planning for Blended Families

Estate Planning for Blended Families

woman and man with grey hair smile and look at each other doing yoga

Congratulations on finding true love—again! Getting remarried opens the door to so many new and wonderful opportunities. Never mind the tax benefits—you have another chance to build a life with a perfect-for-you partner! And, if you or your new spouse have children—or if you plan to have more children together—you can look forward to growing and merging your families! Of course, every major life milestone requires you update your estate plan, and estate planning for blended families presents its own unique challenges.

When it comes to getting remarried, many people are inclined to keep their estate plans simple, and leave their assets to their spouse. However, when children are involved, this isn’t so straightforward. For example, if you lost your ex-spouse to death, you may not want your new spouse to inherit the assets that once belonged to your previous spouse. Or, if you are remarried but co-parenting with your ex, you may want some of your assets distributed to them, so they can use those assets to continue raising your children.

There are countless considerations, but here are the top mistakes we see in estate planning for blended families.

  1. Failing to update your will (or draft a new trust). This is the first (and most obvious) step after getting remarried. You wouldn’t want your ex-spouse to inherit your home, car, or other assets, right? However, it’s not always as simple as leaving everything to your new spouse, especially when children are involved. How can you be sure that your new spouse will honor your wishes for your children to inherit your assets after they die? Do they have children from a previous marriage? Do you want their children to inherit any of your assets? These are questions to consider, but the complexity of the matter makes trusts for second marriages a highly viable estate planning tool. Trusts for second marriages will ensure your assets pass down to your new spouse, your children, their children, and any other loved ones exactly as you intend.
  2. Not updating your beneficiary designations. Updating your will may be obvious, but many people forget about the beneficiary designations listed on their bank accounts, insurance policies, and retirement accounts. We can’t tell you how many times we’ve surprised a client by telling them that their ex-spouse is still listed as the beneficiary on their 401(k) account, and they had no idea. Accounts that use beneficiary designations will not pass through probate, so whoever is named beneficiary will receive those assets immediately after your death—there is no court proceeding to argue or contest this decision.
  3. Treating all heirs equally. There are countless considerations when it comes to deciding how to distribute your assets between your spouse, children, and loved ones. There is no rule that says you need to treat all heirs equally, and this is especially the case in estate planning for blended families. For example, if you owned your house before your new spouse moved in, you may want the home (or the proceeds from selling the home) to go to your children rather than your spouse. Another example, you may distribute a greater percentage of your assets to your biological children, and leave less for your step-children. Finally, if any of your heirs have addiction issues, gambling issues, or are otherwise irresponsible, you may want to look into trusts for second marriages, as a trust will give you more control over the circumstances under which your assets are distributed. When leaving unequal inheritances, it’s recommended that you communicate with your heirs about your decisions, so there are no hard feelings or resentments after you pass away.
  4. Not working with an estate planning attorney. When it comes to estate planning for blended families, there is so much to consider. What we’ve discussed here is only brushing the surface. A qualified estate planning attorney will guide you through the process of updating your estate plan—or drafting an estate plan to begin with—ensuring that all of the “what ifs” are addressed, and that every decision has a contingency.

No one wants to pass away and leave their family either with a giant mess to clean up, or hard feelings about who received which of your assets. Updating your estate plan when you get remarried is an important step to ensure you leave a legacy of love, and not of anger and confusion.

Miller Estate & Elder Law can help you plan for the many uncertainties of the future. We offer comprehensive estate planning and elder law services, and can guide you through the process of protecting yourself, your family, and your assets. Contact us today!

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Another Celebrity, Another Estate Planning Nightmare

Another Celebrity, Another Estate Planning Nightmare

Estate Planning
Until a tragic car accident claimed her life in August 2022, Anne Heche was an Emmy award-winning actress, famous for her roles in big blockbuster hits such as as Donnie Brasco and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Well, Heche is back in the headlines again…but, this time, it’s not for her stage presence.

The #1 estate planning mistake people make—and 67% of Americans are guilty of this—is not having an estate plan at all. Heche, unfortunately, was one of these people. Now, her 20-year-old son, Homer Laffoon—the oldest of her two sons—is headed into battle against her ex-boyfriend, James Tupper—the father of her youngest son—for control of what we can only assume is a sizable estate.

It’s an estate planning nightmare fit for the Hollywood big screen: it’s filled with drama, wild accusations, he-said-she-said mysteries, and more. Grab your popcorn, folks…

The story goes that, back in 2011, Heche emailed her lawyer, stating that Tupper should receive all of her assets, which should be used to raise both of her children, and—ultimately—be given to them.

She never signed a will, though, which raises the question of whether an email is valid as a holographic will. A holographic—or handwritten—will is actually valid in her home state of California, but only if it meets certain requirements. This email—if it even exists—does not meet those requirements.

When you die without a will, your assets are distributed following your state’s intestacy laws. In California, law dictates that a person’s assets be distributed, first, to the surviving spouse, or, if there is no spouse, split equally between the decedent’s surviving children.

At present, the court has granted her oldest son the role of “special administrator,” which means he can begin collecting and organizing his mother’s assets, but cannot distribute, transfer, or sell them. Tupper, however, has requested that court name a third-party professional fiduciary as the estate executor, claiming that Homer was estranged from Heche at the time of her death. Homer alleges that this is not true.

So, into a probate battle they’ll go. It will likely take the court 6-months to a year to name an executor for Heche’s estate, and—until then—Tupper and Laffoon will be in a holding pattern, unable to move forward. How could Heche have prevented her loved ones (and ex-loved ones) from getting dragged into such a stressful, time-consuming, and likely expensive probate face-off?

A legally-binding (and updated) will. All wills must be probated, so having a will wouldn’t have prevented the estate from going through the probate process. However, she would have named an executor who she trusted to distribute her assets per her wishes…and they would have known what those wishes were! The downside is that the probate process leaves room for creditors and predators to file claims against the estate, and it sounds like there are some predators at play in this case. Even if Heche had a will, chances are the probate process would become lengthy and ugly anyways.

A trust. We can assume that, in addition to significant financial assets, Heche probably also collects royalties from her many TV shows and films. Considering the additional probability that she held life insurance policies and investment accounts—and that she had two children, one of which was still a minor—her estate was probably an excellent candidate for a trust. By drafting and funding a trust, Heche could have bypassed the probate process altogether, and her assets would be distributed to whom she wanted, how she wanted.

If only Heche had worked with a qualified estate planning attorney and drafted a comprehensive plan, her estate wouldn’t be all over the news, her family wouldn’t be getting put through the wringer, and her legacy wouldn’t be tarnished by the chaos of what is sure to become an absolute probate nightmare.

If you’re like Heche (or 67% of Americans) and don’t have a will or trust in place, please contact the estate attorneys at Miller Estate & Elder Law today. You don’t need to be worth millions to need an estate plan. If you own anything at all, you have an estate that needs to be planned for. Don’t leave your family to battle it out in probate court after you die. Leave clear instructions, and a legacy of love.

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Queen Elizabeth’s School of Estate Planning: 3 Lessons to Learn

Queen Elizabeth’s School of Estate Planning: 3 Lessons to Learn

Estate Planning

As you might imagine, the royal estate of Queen Elizabeth II was massive, with an estimated value of about $27 billion. Personally, the Queen’s net worth was around $500 million. The bottom line: a huge transfer of wealth is about to happen.

The good news is that, as you might expect from British royalty, the Queen’s estate plan was a masterpiece. Not only did it account for a plethora of diverse assets—trusts, real estate, a family business, fine art, jewelry, and even assets owned by separate trusts—but it was impeccably maintained to address the many changes that occurred throughout the duration of her life.

We may not have royal estates, but we can certainly learn from the Queen’s savvy approach to estate planning. Here are 3 estate planning lessons fit for a queen (but applicable to you, too):

1. Have your documents in order. An effective estate plan includes more than just a will or trust. Important documents, like a Durable Power of Attorney or Advance Directive for Healthcare, should also be in place. Beyond having the right series of estate planning documents, making sure your loved ones know where to find them, as well as what their responsibilities may or may not be in administering your estate, is of equal importance.

2. Make regular updates to your plan. Estate planning isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it activity. As your life changes—for example, you have children or grandchildren, get married or divorced, or lose a loved one—your estate plan needs to be updated accordingly. Because the Queen’s life was lived more publicly than most, we know of several occasions where updating her estate plan became a matter of prudence.

3. Talk about your wishes before you pass away. Let your family and loved ones know how your assets will be distributed (and why), so you can answer their questions and prevent family squabbling later down the line. The Queen famously communicated her desire for Prince Charles’ wife, Camilla, to be referred to as the Queen after her death. While that is a decision that Charles could have made as King, knowing that he has his mother’s blessing to refer to his wife as the Queen must provide a sense of relief.

Preparations for Queen Elizabeth’s death started decades ago, and—if you have the foresight—you’ll follow suit and begin preparing for your own death decades before it happens. However, we don’t’ always know how many decades of life we have left, so the best way to protect your loved ones and legacy is to start planning now.

Contact Miller Estate & Elder Law

Miller Estate & Elder Law is here to guide you through the estate planning process. Whether your estate is massive and complex, or small and simple, we can help design a plan that is fit for a queen (or king). Complete the brief form below to contact us today!

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Who Holds the Power, and When? Beneficiary Designations vs. Wills

Who Holds the Power, and When? Beneficiary Designations vs. Wills

Beneficiary Designations vs. Wills

When it comes to estate planning, many people are content to draw up a will and leave it at that. That can be a big mistake. The fact is that a will is just one of many necessary estate planning tools, and if you ignore the other documents and designations, your assets could end up going to the wrong person after you pass away. This is especially the case when it comes to beneficiary designations, which hold more power over the distribution of certain assets than your will does.

What is a Beneficiary Designation?

A beneficiary designation is a stipulation that allows you to transfer certain assets directly to a specific person when you pass away. Typically, a beneficiary designation is used on bank accounts, retirement accounts, or life insurance policies. In most cases, a beneficiary designation names a specific individual, but you can also designate your estate as a beneficiary. A beneficiary designation supersedes any directive that may appear in your will, so whoever you name as a beneficiary on your bank or retirement accounts, or on your life insurance policy, will be the person who receives those assets.

Four Common Mistakes to Avoid When It Comes to Beneficiary Designations

1.  Failure to name a Beneficiary. If you don’t designate a beneficiary on your accounts, then the estate automatically becomes the beneficiary. This means that your assets will be distributed according to your Will.  If you have no will, then the laws of the State of Alabama determine who gets those assets.  When that happens, your assets may very well wind up going to someone who you did not intend to receive them.

2.  Not Naming a Contingent Beneficiary. What happens if your designated beneficiary dies, becomes incapacitated, or simply does not wish to receive the asset? If you haven’t named a contingent beneficiary, then your assets will, again, be distributed by the estate executor…the same as if you hadn’t named a beneficiary at all. Therefore, it’s important to account for all possibilities.

3.  Failure to Account for All Your Assets. Many people have more accounts that are subject to beneficiary designations than they realize. Whether it’s an IRA, a 401 (k), or a mutual fund account, it’s important that every asset for which you can designate a beneficiary be considered. Make a list of all your assets, and then check each one to be sure you’ve prepared properly for what will happen to them.

4.  Not Updating Your Beneficiary Designations. Life is full of changes: people pass on, children are born, we fall out with our friends. Similarly, beneficiary designations should change in accordance with our life circumstances. Every time a major life event happens, you should update all of your estate planning documents. You should also review your beneficiary designations periodically to be sure that your assets will not go to an unwanted recipient.

Make Sure Your Estate Plan is Up-to-Date

As important as it is to make sure all relevant accounts name a designated beneficiary or beneficiaries, it can also be a lot to stay on top of. Therefore, it is highly recommended that you seek out an experienced estate planning attorney who can help review your estate plan as needed. We recommend an annual review to ensure the accuracy of your plan, as well as to make updates as dictated by changing legislation or tax law.

Contact Miller Estate & Elder Law

At Miller Estate and Elder Law, we have many years of experience with estate planning and beneficiary designations. Give us a call at (256) 251-2137 to speak with a member of our legal team, or contact us using the brief form below.



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Healthcare Proxy, Durable Power of Attorney & HIPAA Authorization: 3 Estate Planning Documents Your College Student Needs

Healthcare Proxy, Durable Power of Attorney & HIPAA Authorization: 3 Estate Planning Documents Your College Student Needs

healthcare proxy

As your child heads off to college, you may have a lot on your mind. Not only is the process of choosing and applying to college a stressful one, but the campus visits and Target shopping sprees in preparation for their segue into higher learning can leave you feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained. While we don’t want to add another stressor to your plate, there is one important college planning to-do that is too often overlooked: estate planning.

You have spent the majority of your life making medical, legal and financial decisions for your child, but once your child reaches the age of majority—18 in most states (19 in Alabama) —you will lose that control. Without a healthcare proxy, durable power of attorney and HIPAA authorization, you may not be able to gain access to their medical records or finances…even if you are largely responsible for funding their college education!

Estate planning for 19-year-olds is much less complicated than planning for those who are married, have children, or have accrued a complex array of assets. However, it is equally important to do so. If your child is involved in an accident and becomes incapacitated, having these three essential documents in place will ensure that (a.) you have access to their medical records and (b.) are able to make medical and legal decisions for them.

Healthcare Proxy

If your child is injured or becomes seriously ill to the point they are unable to make their own medical decisions, you will not automatically be allowed to make those decisions for them. By drafting a healthcare proxy (also referred to as a medical power of attorney or advanced medical directive) your child can grant you access to their medical records, and legal rights to make medical decisions on their behalf. Without a healthcare proxy in place, you may need to petition the courts to gain access to your child’s medical records, or to make healthcare decisions on their behalf.

HIPAA Authorization

HIPAA regulations prohibit the disclosure of medical records, and, as a result, deny parents’ access to such information for their adult child. Due to this, parents should obtain a blanket HIPAA authorization from their child if they want the option of being apprised of their adult child’s health records. The HIPAA release is an important part of the estate planning process and may be incorporated into the health care proxy.

Durable Power of Attorney

The durable power of attorney is similar in function to the healthcare proxy. It will allow your child to name an agent—you, or another trusted family member—who can make financial and legal decisions on their behalf, should they become unable to do so. Many parents don’t think their adult children have enough financial resources to warrant a need for a durable power of attorney, however without this important document, you will not be able to communicate with banks, universities, or other related institutions on their behalf…even if you are the one footing the bill for their college education!

These estate planning documents are relatively quick and painless to create. Your college-aged child will only need to make a few decisions about who they want to name as appointees. Hopefully none of these documents will be needed, but if unexpected tragedy strikes, you’ll be glad you have them on-hand.

Contact Miller Estate & Elder Law

At Miller Estate & Elder Law, we can make the process of drafting a healthcare proxy, durable power of attorney, and HIPAA authorization fast and efficient. Contact us using the brief form below and a member of our team will reach out to schedule an initial consultation.



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