Estate planning conversations are usually tough and probably not top-of-mind as families gather for the holidays. Discussing death and finances are often two of the most uncomfortable topics for families to talk about. Not talking about them, however, can lead to severe—and sometimes devastating—consequences.
While it might be difficult to broach the subject, the holiday season actually provides a great opportunity to talk to your family. Everyone is gathered in once place, opening the door to have important, distraction-free, in-person conversations. Many families take this time to share stories from the past, and celebrate what is to come, but these gatherings also provide the perfect canvas for heartfelt, emotional discussions.
Regardless of age, many adults delay the estate planning process, as it can be uncomfortable to contemplate one’s own mortality. Due to the delicate nature of the topic, conversations should also be approached delicately, and with the utmost respect for privacy and comfort zones. There are many ways to segue into estate planning conversations during the holidays. Here are a few ideas to point you in the right direction.
- Start by having smaller conversations with other family members about their estate plans before going straight to mom and dad. This will allow you to test out the topic and determine how to best bring it up in a bigger group discussion.
- Wait for a good time to bring up your own experience with estate planning, or—better yet—ask the group for advice. This will open the door for a collective discussion about what documents your family has already put in place, and what still needs to be done. Do some research ahead of time, so you know what estate planning tools your parents should have in place. This will help direct the conversation, if you find that your parents do not have a comprehensive plan in place.
The goal of these discussions is not to pry or try to obtain information about your inheritance. It is to ensure that your parents have their estate plans in order, so that you and your loved ones aren’t left to contend with a probate nightmare after they pass. If you discover that they are ahead of the game, make them promise that they will revisit it every once in a while to make sure it stays up to date with their situation and currents wishes.
If nothing has been done, suggest helping them research an estate planning attorney to start the process. Having a plan in place will provide peace of mind that your parents are protected, and that your future won’t include a time-consuming, costly, and emotional probate battle. This is one of the best gifts your parents could give you this holiday season.